Sunday, November 9, 2014

Family tree of characters in Mahabharata!!

Most Complicated Family Tree: Resolved!!! Well, Not really. I have just made an attempt to come up with the family tree of Kuru dynasty but whenever I feel that it's complete and correct now, I am proved wrong, something is always missing there. Uffff, This family tree is as complicated as the story itself.

Reason why I felt that I should come up with this family tree is that whenever there is a discussion on certain topic of Mahabharata, more often than not I see people(including me) getting confused with who is who in the epic. So why not map all the characters down for better understanding. 

Now that was one big task for me because unlike other royal families and stories where there is a king and a queen, they have talented son who rules the kingdom after them, Kuru family has got lots of twists and turns in the tale as to who is gonna be the next king which eventually lead to the war.

So going back in time long long ago, there used to be constant fight between Devas and Asuras for Swarga(Paradise). Everyone knows, the one with enough merits (Punya) gets into Swarga. So to maintain their merits and defeat Asuras, Devas had appointed Brihaspati, god of Jupiter, to perform yagna. Devas kept Brihaspati so occupied with yagna that his wife Tara felt so neglected by her husband that one fine day she eloped with a handsome hunk moon-god, Chandra.
When Brihaspati learned about his wife Tara, he became so furious that he threatened Indra, king of Devas that "I will resign from my roles and responsibilities of performing yagna for Devas, If you don't bring my wife back." Indra knew that if he wants to remain in business he will have to convince Tara to return to Brihaspati. Tara returned, not alone but with Chandra's child in her womb. When Brihaspati heard about this child he lost his temper and cursed the unborn child to be born of neutral gender, neither male nor female. This child was called Budh (god of planet Mercury).

As we keep hearing always, "Everything happens for a reason", so was Brishaspati's curse. One day Budh met a woman named "Ila" and instantly fell in love and married her. Actually Ila was a man, once upon a time he accidentally entered a forest which was under a spell casted by lord Shiva which would transform every
male into female. He prayed to lord Shiva to restore his manhood but it was not possible to undo it, so lord Shiva modified his spell such that he would be a man when moon waxes and a woman when moon wanes. Budh was neither man nor woman while Ila was both man and woman, thus they were perfect for each other.
                                               

Together, Budh and Ila produced many children, known as "Chanravanshi", descendants of moon.One of the descendant of moon, Pururava, was a handsome prince who happened to meet Uravashi an Apsara, a river-nymph. Pururava had never seen such a beauty in his entire life. Without much ado, he ceased the opportunity and proposed her. Uravashi agreed but with few conditions. Pururava was so much in love with Urvashi that he agreed to those conditions and both got married and had many children. Indra couldn't bear the fact that his beloved Apsara, Uravashi was spending too much time on earth so he tricked Pururava and managed to get her back in Indralok. Pururava was heartbroken when Uravashi left.
 
                                                 


Yayati was another Chandravanshi,  who once rescued Devyani, daughter of Shukra, guru of Asuras from the well she had been pushed by Sarmishtha, daughter of king of Asuras. Later on Yayati married Devyani while Sarmishtha accompanied them as maid in Yayati's kingdom. But punishment turned out to be blessing for Sarmishtha when Yayati fell in love with her and married her. Now Yayati had two wivies Devyani and Sarmishtha. He had one son from each. Yadu, born of Devyani and Puru, born of Sarmishtha. Everything was going well until Yayati was cursed to become old and impotent. The curse could be softened only if one of his sons accepted the curse on his behalf. Yadu denied but Puru accepted it. Enraged Yayati enlarged upon the punishment to his eldest son Yadu, "Neither you nor your descendants will ever be kings". The unlucky Yadu left the kingdom and settled in Mathura where his lineage flourished. Yadu's descendants are now known as Yadav, of which I am one. Yadavas since then are king makers but never kings.
                                       

Once a king Kaushik was performing ascetic practices called tapasya. Indra was not happy to see this, knowing if Kaushik succeeds he will replace him, so he sent an Apsara, Menaka. Menaka managed to attract Kaushik and union of two was a girl child. Both abandoned the child in forest. Rishi Kanva found this girl and named her Shakuntala. Rishi Kanva raised Shakuntala as his own daughter, she grew up to be a very beautiful and cultured woman.

One fine day, King Dushyant, son of Puru saw Shakuntala in forest and fell in love with her. Dushyant and Shakuntala got married secretly and had a son who was named Bharat. Yeah! The same King Bharat after whom our country has derived name "Bhaarat". Parallelly, Yadu had a son Devmidha.

Bharat grew up to a great king. He had many wives and sons from them. But Bharat was somehow not happy with any of his sons and felt none of them was worthy of his throne. So finally Bharat decicded to adopt a son, Vitatha, who was talented enough to be his heir. Just like Shakuntala, Vitatha was abandoned by his parents. Vitatha was outcome of Brihaspati and Mamata, when Brihaspati had forced himself on Mamata in the moment of lust. Throughout the epic children suffer due to faults of their parents (Shakuntala, Vitatha, Yadu, Puru and Karan)
Generations later Kuru became the king, founder of the Kuru dynasty. Due to his performance of sacrifice and asceticism at the site, the place was known as Kurukshetra, named after Kuru. Kuru's son was Pratipa.
                                                   


In the meantime, Devmidha, Yadu's son married two woman, one from royal family and other from cowherd family. He had sons from each. Son from royal wife was Sursena while the other one was Parjanya.
Sursena's children were Vasudeva and Kunti while Parjanya's son was Nanda (Krishna's foster father). Vasudeva had three children Balaram, Krishna and Subhadra. Now that makes sense why Vasudeva decided to keep Krishna with Nanda of all the people out there. (I know these characters are not from Kuru family but still some of them played crucial role in the epic like Kunti and Krishna)
                                               


Now coming back to Kuru family, Pratipa's son was Shantanu. Shantanu fell in love with Ganga. He proposed her "Be my wife", he said. "I will" said Ganga,"provided you promise me that you will never question any of my act" Shantanu was so blinded in love that he agreed. Both got married. Ganga was pregnant with Shantanu's first child. As soon as child was born Ganga drowned him in river. She did the same to seven of Shantanu's son and he could not do anything but watch helplessly because he promised Ganga that he would never question her. But he couldn't stop himself eighth time and finally he broke his silence "Stop you merciless lady, Let him live" he said. Ganga stopped and said "Honey, You broke your promise, now I cant stay with you just like Urvashi left Pururava once. The seven children whom I killed were 8 vasus who were cursed to be reborn as mortals and I helped them to keep their stay as short as possible but alas 8th vasu have to stay longer." Saying so Ganga left. Child was named "Devarata".
After few years Shantanu happened to fall in love again with a woman named Satyavati. Again he proposed Satyavati "Be my wife",  he said. "I will" said Satyavati, "Provided you promise me that only my children would be your heir." Shantanu disagreed this time he knew that Devarata was already his prince. He went into depression for not being able to get Satyavati. When Devarata learnt about this, he took the vow that he will never marry and he will renounce the claim of throne so that Satyavati's conditon is satisfied and Shantanu can marry her. Everyone was so stunned by this act of Devarata that he was renamed as "Bheeshma."


Well, Satyavati already had a son with sage Parashara(without loosing virginity, now that's astonishing isn't it?) before getting married to Shantanu. The son was raised by Parashara. He was named Krishna Dwaipayana. Later on he was renamed as Ved Vyas, the compiler of vedas. (Also the author of Mahabharata).

Now, Shantanu and Satyavati had two sons Chitrangada and Vichitraveer. Chitrangada died before marriage. Vichitraveer was supposedly weakling. Bheeshma got him two wives Ambika and Ambalika. But Vichitraveer died before he could father any children. This way Kuru bloodline came to an end. Technically, Bheeshma was last true Kuru. But Satyavati was determined to have her children on throne. She called upon her son Vyas and requested him to make two widows pregnant by the law of Niyog. He agreed. He first went to Ambika. She was so scared to see Vyas that she closed her eyes when he touched her. The child thus born of union was blind. He was Dhritarashtra. He then went Ambalika, she turned pale on seeing him, child thus born was weak called Pandu. Satyavati was clearly not happy with the fact that both the children were not fit. So she insisted Vyas to visit Ambika again. But Ambika tricked Vyas this time. She sent a maid instead. This child was healthy and wise. He was named Vidur.
                                                 

Finally the most awaited generation comes into picture. The ones who actually fight in the war. Dhritarashtra married Gandhari while Pandu married Kunti first but since Pandu was not able to father a child on Kunti, he was married to Madri. After his second marriage, Pandu was cursed by a sage that he will die as soon as he touches a woman.When Kunti learnt about this, She revealed that she had magical mantra by which she can summon any Devas and have a son from them instantly. Kunti managed to have three sons:
1. Yudhistir from Yama also known as Dharma.
2. Bhim from Vayu (wind-god)
3. Arjun from Indra (king of Devas)
Kunti shared her mantra with Madri. Madri invoked Ashwin twins lords of morning and evening. They gave Madri Nakula and Sahadeva

Gandhari was really not happy to hear that Kunti had become mother before her. Gandhari had conceived much before but her pregnancy continued for two years. She was impatient now and asked her maids to strike her belly and result was a ball of flesh. On Vyas's advice flesh was cut into 101 pieces and kept in pots of Ghee. Thus were born hundred sons and one daughter.
                                               

Now, Everyone knows that five Pandavas married Draupadi and each had one son with her. Apart from Draupadi each had other wives too but I don't think that should be mentioned here. But Yes I would like to mention Arjun's second wife Subhadra whose son was Abhimanyu who married Uttara and they had a son Parikshit who ruled Hastinapur after Yudhistir. Duryodhan had a son Lakshman who was killed by Abhimanyu in Kurukshetra.
                                           

Phew! This is how probably Kuru family tree looks like. I feel still many of them are missing from this tree.
                                                   

Disclaimer:
I came up with this lineage based on extensive reading of epic over the years and stories narrated by my dearest father. I managed to get the root of the lineage from "Jaya: An Illustrated retelling of Mahabharata" written by Devdutt Pattnaik and last but not the least "Mahabharat" TV serial by B.R.Chopra.
I have tried my best to describe the stories known to me but these stories have many versions so it is possible that one may read or hear a different version. Also, Each generations had many sons, wives, daughters and extra affairs but I have mentioned only the most relevant ones.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Follower, Worker and Leader

In our day to day life especially in corporate world we come across a term "Leader". In layman language if I ask who is a leader? Answer is very simple; one who leads something is leader. But, is it all? I mean, does leading something make you a leader? I would say "NO". A true leader is much different from this. For me important qualities of leadership can be interpreted from greatest epic of all times like "Ramayan" and "Mahabharata".

People who know me knows that I am too obsessed with the story of "Mahabharata" thus  I can relate it to every damn thing. Everyone knows that in that legendary bloodbath, Pandavas won only because they had a superb leader like "Krishna". 

During the war, Krishna was charioteer of Arjun, he not only motivated him when he was emotionally moved to see his own family in enemy's army but guided him, planned every strategy in war for Arjun. In short Arjun just followed whatever Krishna asked him to do.

Arjun, represents employees who needs motivation as their driving force. Such kind of employees once motivated can do wonders. He also represents those types of employees in organisation who just blindly follows whatever their leaders ask them to do. These types of employees are "Follower". Perfect obedient, who does everything without questioning. One would argue, isn't it good for the organisation to have follower. I would say not really. Because everyone is not lucky enough to have a leader like "Krishna"

In childhood, we all have heard from parents or seen television series of "Ramayan". We all know what happens. Ravan kidnaps Sita. Ram with the help of Hanuman and army of monkeys rescues Sita. What do we learn from it? From this entire episode we get an important leadership lesson. What is it? Let's have a look.

Task of "Finding Sita" was assigned to Hanuman. He crosses ocean to reach Lanka. Finds whereabouts of Sita. In the process when Ravan tries to burn his tail, he sets entire Lanka on fire.

Hanuman represents employees who are proactive and takes initiative. These types of employees don't need any kind of motivation. They are self driven and respond to command instantly. They are called "Worker". Let's see one more incident from Ramayan.

Brother of Ravan, was a rakshasa who secretly carried away Ram and his brother Lakshman to the nether-world, consulted his friends and decided to sacrifice the life of the two divine brothers at the altar of his chosen deity, goddess Mahamaya. But Hanuman saved their life by killing Ahiravan and his army.

Ram knew that Hanuman will do whatever he commands him to do. Thus he knew the risk of having someone without decision making abilities. In the above given situation, Hanuman was forced to take decision on his own in the absence of Ram. Hanuman not only takes decision on his own but also solved the problem by rescuing Ram and Lakshman. Eventually he learnt problem solving and decision making skill. Thus Ram managed to convert a "Worker" into "Leader".

Mostly in organisations, "Follower" type of employees are considered ideal because they do what is asked to do. They want leader like Krishna who can spoon feed them with plans and strategies but it's not possible to have Krishna in every project. What we need really is Ram. One who knows how to convert a follower into worker, worker into leader. 

This entire scene gives one interpretation that a leader is true leader when he is capable of creating leaders.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Baaton Baaton Mein...

Her cheeks were wet, her eyes did weep. Her face looked pale, her hair was shabby. She tried hard to control her tears. She was sulking while sitting in the coffee shop. She took a sip of coffee, still gazing out through glass door. Her mind was engaged with those horrible memories. She kept re-visiting those memories which made a tear roll out of her eyes.

This is the story of Nuts (girl) and Fatty (Boy). Nuts and Fatty are close friends  like for a decade now. No, don't be mistaken that Nuts is actually Nuts like our beloved Alia Bhatt. In fact Nuts is super intelligent, highly qualified holding fancy MBA degree, independent girl. While Fatty is well built guy but Nuts still calls him Fatty because he was fat as a child. Nuts is not ready to accept the fact that he is no more fat.

Fatty: Hey Nuts.....Girl, you are impossible.....you are sitting here....you almost killed me...everyone has been looking for you everywhere...your mobile phone is switched off.....Look at you...kya haal bana rakha hai....(though you look cute even in this avatar)......what's wrong??

Nuts: Will you let me speak??

Fatty: Come on, speak fast now, I don't have all day!!! (Oh!! I can sit and listen to your stupid tantrums all my life..chuck all day)

Nuts: Leave then. Who asked you to come over? why are you so concerned anyways?? what is it to you? Leave I said....what are you waiting for now?

Fatty : You silly......I cancelled my date with a cute chick just because of you....

Nuts: Huh?? Who told you to come over? Go and enjoy your date with that stupid chick.....

Fatty : aah....you are sounding jealous....(I love it when you get jealous my cutie pie) come on now tell me what's the matter? why so much of melodrama ?

Nuts : I broke up with my BF. (sobs)

Fatty : What???? (Wow...that's music to my ears) You had tiff with him again? Oh! now I know why you have been crying like a baby....not hanging out with anyone....eating like anything...and that's pretty visible...look you have put on weight.....I think I should call up your Mom and inform her about you.

Nuts : Oh god...Mom sent you to figure out things.......Tu chamcha hai Mom ka.........I must say she adores you a lot.

Fatty : Aww I am flattered. So tell me what's bugging you now? You are single now or you didn't expect this to happen at all or something else? Anyways he was good for nothing guy....good you broke up with him.

Nuts : It's not that...It's just that I was fed up of everything happening around me...I felt trapped by his decisions, his priorities, his will and desire. I missed being myself with him.

Fatty: Ummm....So you must be happy now that you are free from trap now.

Nuts: Let me finish....

Fatty: Yeah yeah....continue madam...I am listening (and observing your cute little eyes which makes me crazy about you...your silky hair which is tucked behind your ears...ok enough now..listen to her)

Nuts: Life is perfect for me right now. I have loving family. I have few reliable friends who have always stood by me whenever needed. (Specially you). I am pretty settled in life now, done post graduation, got pretty good job. Now parents want me to get settled with some guy. But this is not what I want from life. I mean Obviously, I want to get married in life but I am not ready for this arranged marriage thingy. I have so many friends around me whom I love and they love me back but no one can understand what I am actually going through (I hope atleast you will). Right now all I need is a shoulder to cry on, want a comforting hug and wanna hear "Dont worry re everything will be alright"

Fatty : This is all? See Life is not what happens to you, its all about how you handle what happens to you. All you need to do is handle things in sorted manner. What exactly happened with your BF...how did it end?

Nuts : He says I am adamant, arrogant  and stubborn. I don't listen to him. He wants me to be his slave. If I do something of my will. I am stubborn, freak and what not.

Fatty : Well, you know you are bit a freak and it's little difficult to deal with you (and that's what I love about you) But Yes I wouldn't encourage you to be in such a stagnant relationship. I appreciate your action and decision. Now all you need is to move on and find a new BF.

Nuts : Huh? New BF?? Tell me one thing...you went through all this few months back isn't it?Why don't you have new Gf yet?

Fatty : ..........Silence....................

Nuts : I know you very well. You are someone who has always been honest and sincere in your relationship.But what you got in return is cheating and loads of tears. See this relationships are very tricky thing. They are over hyped and looks fancy but it's troublesome. Once you get entangled in it, its very difficult to come out. Its like wheels within wheel forming chakravyu for you, just like Abhimanyu you just know how to enter it but you don't know how to come out of it.

Fatty : Chill girl!! I agree I am shaken with what happened in past but yes I have moved on in life, I smile, I laugh, I stay positive in every aspect of life. Infact I wanted to tell you about my new love interest.

Nuts : What?? Your love interest?? When it all started?? You didn't even tell me? Who is she? Tell me more....

Fatty : Hahaha.....You curious little devil...hmmm...well she is a cute, innocent girl....but bahot pakati hai....but I hear her patiently...she is one such person who does not have complaints, demands or conditons with me...

Nuts : Hmmmmm....

Fatty : Kya Hmmmm???

Nuts : Kuch nahi...dikhti kaisi hai?

Fatty : ....Very HOT.....;)

Nuts : You shameless creature...

Fatty : What?? Huh? I know you feel girls wearing stunning outfit with stunning body is Hot girl. No! For me being honest is hot, caring for people around you is being hot, standing up for right things is being hot. A girl is hot when she can speak her mind out without fear in the world of men. For me, girls like Kiran Bedi, P.T.Usha, Mary Kom and YOU are super hot.

Nuts : What? Me??

Fatty : Yes you. You appear to be saint from Himalayas but you've a childish side of you. There is always a naughty streak within you. Let that charm be inside you forever.

Nuts : Stop flattering me and tell me about your new love interest.

Fatty : That's what I am doing stupid.

Nuts : What?? What do you mean?? Do you mean...that girl is no one but....

Fatty : Yes.....YOU... :) :) :) ( oh no...I cant believe what I said just now...I shouldn't have said )

Nuts : I can't believe what you just said.....I have been waiting to hear this from you since ages....(tear rolls down again...)

P.S: All characters appearing in this work is purely fictitious, any resemblance to real person living or dead is purely coincidental.  

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Amazing Krishna!!!

Today is a very auspicious day for me. Ummm....not only for me but for all "Krishna" devotees. Today is "Ashtami" popularly known as "Janamashtami". "Janama" means birth, "Ashtami" means 8th day of hindu lunar calendar. So why this day is important in hindu religion? It is the day on which lord Shri Krishna was born. To be very precise about the day and time of his birth, he was born when moon was in constellation of "Rohini". It is said that he was born approximately 5000 years ago from now. Also, he was 8th incarnation of lord Vishnu.

Lord Shri Krishna was 8th son of Vasudeva and Devki. He was born in Mathura in prison where his uncle Kansa  had imprisoned both Vasudeva and Devki. He spent his childhood in Gokul with Balaram his brother at Nandalal and Yashoda's place. Later on Krishna killed his uncle Kansa and freed his parents and Mathura from such a tyrant.



Many times people ask me Krishna was born in Mathura and spent his childhood in Gokul so from where "Vrindavan" comes in to picture? Well, here it is Krishna stayed in Gokul for about 3 years but the residents of Gokul were harassed by demons sent by Kansa thus Nandalal decided to move from Gokul to Vrindavan.

After killing Kansa, Krishna lived in Mathura(Ugrasena was king of Mathura not Krishna) but again the residents of Mathura were harassed by frequent attack of Jarasandha(Kansa's father in law, king of Magadh). For the safety of people, Krishna decided to move the capital from Mathura to Dwarka.
Dwarka was built by god of architecture "Vishwakarma". Thus Krishna and Yadavas moved from Mathura to Dwarka.

It is said that Shri Krishna had 16,108 wives out of which only 8 wives were princely wives. They were known as "Ashtbharya" (Rukmini, Satyabhama, Jambhvanti, Kalindi etc etc...(I dont remember all names :P)) Will narrate the story of remaining 16,100 wives some other time in other post.

I need not mention his pivotal role in the legendary war that happened at Kurukshetra. Everyone knows that he narrated Bhagwat Geeta to Arjun to enlighten him about his duties. Bhagwat Geeta which comprises of 18 chapter and 700 verses out of which 8th verse of 4th chapter is the most popular one.

paritranaya sadhunam vinasaya ca duskrtam dharma-samsthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge

Meaning:
paritranaya--for the deliverance; sadhunam--of the devotees;vinasaya--for the annihilation; ca--also; duskrtam--of the miscreants;dharma--principles of religion; samsthapana-arthaya--to reestablish;sambhavami--I do appear; yuge--millennium; yuge--after millennium.
After the end of war Shri Krishna was cursed by Gandhari that he will die alone in forest and will be hunted like a beast. Gandhari's curse took effect after 36 years, a hunter saw Krishna's foot sticking out of bushes, he assumed it to be a deer and shot it down. He was killed by a poisoned arrow(a long story goes behind this arrow, will describe it in another post), his soul roared back to Vaikuntha. It is said that his stay on earth was for around 125 years (1+2+5=8).

I am amazed to figure out a pattern of number 8 and it's importance throughout his lifespan. I am highlighting it in this post.
1)8th incarnation of lord Vishnu.
2)Born on 8th day of hindu lunar calendar.
3) 8th son of Vasudeva and Devki.
4)  princely wives
5) 8th verse of 4th chapter is the most popular one.
6)Lifespan of around 125 years (1+2+5=8).

Isn't it amazing?? Indeed Lord Shri Krishna always amazes me with every other thing. :)

Jai Shri Krishna!!!!

(Source of verse: Bhagwad Geeta as it is)

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

One fine day......

Somehow these days I am surrounded by all married females. Prior to this my gang has always been a gang of spinsters enjoying freedom, altogether a fulfilled gang. I am not saying I have never hanged out with married friends, in fact my best friend is happily married for quite a while now and I can say she is still full of life and fun to be around.

When you hangout with single people your topic of discussions are totally different while when you hangout with married ones(applicable to females only) its totally different picture, this is what I realized in past few months. What I observed is that most of them are troubled someway or the other. When I listen to their day to day problems I get really scared and feel like one should never get married. I thought at least first few years of marriage must be full on lovey-dovey, later on things must be getting stagnant, but no, even the newly wedded keeps cribbing.

After listening to all the gaga from all married females I decided to analyse what must be root cause of all this issues?

What I concluded is :

1. A girl's life changes completely after marriage. She must be used to sleeping on her comfortable bed for nearly 25-30 years. One fine day all of sudden her entire bedroom changes, chuck bedroom, her entire house and sometimes city changes too.

2. She must be getting up late in morning all these years but one fine day all of sudden it is expected from her to get up early (may be at 6:00 am) daily.

3. She must not be used to cleaning her house but one fine day all of sudden it is expected from her to clean the entire house all alone. (I am talking about middle class and upper middle class females)

4. She must have never entered kitchen but one fine day all of sudden it is expected from her to be world's best cook. Sometimes husbands go to an extent of comparing her cooking skills with their mom's without even thinking that their moms must be having around 40-50 years of cooking experience while she is still learning.

5. She must have never washed her own clothes before marriage but one fine day all of sudden it is expected from her to wash, iron and manage not only her's but even her husband's clothes. (I am talking about middle class and upper middle class females)

6. She might be dead tired after long work day yet it will be expected from her to attend all social events like her in-laws, cousin's/friend's birthday party, marriage, engagement etc etc etc. She must not be willing to attend them yet she has to.

7. She might have bad memory to remember her own friends birthdays but it will be expected from her to wish all her in-laws, hubby's friends, hubby's cousins, hubby's colleagues. It's absolutely fine if her hubby doesn't wish her friends.

8. She must have been "master of her own will" all these years but one fine day all her will/desire/decision becomes dependent on one person. If not dependent then at least she has to inform every damn thing to that one person.

9. She might feel most comfortable in shorts, t-shirts but one fine day she gets covered from top to toe in "marriage symbols" (sindoor, magalsutra, ring, toe ring, etc etc). It is compulsory to wear all of them even if it hurts her finger or toe.

10. She has been princess of her father all these years and felt proud to have his last name with her name but one fine day even that is taken away from her for a new one.

Whether you like it or not, these changes are inevitable. After marriage only thing that will never change is "CHANGE" itself. 




Friday, June 27, 2014

Once upon a time in Mumbai...........

Mumbai, 26th July 2005

8:30 AM : I woke up at the sound of alarm just to realize that I was too late for college. Yes! you guessed it right, this incident happened when I was in second year diploma. My college was in Bandra and I would commute daily by "Lifeline of Mumbai-Local Trains"

My first lecture was at 9.30 am, so it was impossible for me to reach college for first lecture. I called one of my friend to mark my proxy for that lecture. I love the concept of proxy, I wish we could do the same thing in office. Anyways, I got up lazily and reached college directly for next lecture.
As soon as I reached college my friend who marked proxy for me told me "Yaar meine teri proxy toh maar di but sir ne pakad li proxy " I was like OMG now I will have to face the consequences.

1:00 PM : I was upset and worried because of proxy scene. I proceeded for next lecture. We all were listening to our dearest "Hire Madam" without any interest. In the meantime it had already started to rain heavily outside. Someone from our classroom said "Madam please let us go home it's raining heavily" Hire Madam said "No, rain will stop in sometime, sit quietly"
After 30 minutes, a boy came in classroom and said "Madam I have a message from Principal" Madam said "What is it?" He said " Principal has asked all students to leave because trains might get affected due to heavy rains." But our Madam was one stubborn lady. In spite of Principal's orders she continued her class for 10 more minutes.

2:00 PM : Happily we all packed our bags and headed towards railway station. Little did we knew that our happiness was momentary. As soon as we stepped out of college gate we realized how heavily it was pouring. Mini rivers were flowing around us. We tried a lot to get an auto but all in vain. Somehow we managed to reach Bandra station.

3:00 PM: Usually, Shweta, Me, Sampada and Bhagyshree would commute together. Shweta and Sampada would take Virar bounded train while Bhagu and me would board on Borivali bounded train. But that day due to some reason Bhagu didn't turn up with us. Shweta and Sampada boarded on Virar train as usual. I still remember I took 3:00 PM Borivali slow train from platform one. Train moved smoothly till Vile Parle.
But even before reaching Vile Parle station's platform. Train stopped all of sudden.


5:00 PM: After almost 2 hours finally motorman made an announcement in train "Bhari Varsha k kaaran gaadi aage nahi jayegi, Due to heavy rainfall train will not go ahead" I was waiting patiently till now but after hearing this announcement I got tensed. While I was just pondering on what to do next? Someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around to see a girl almost of same age as mine. She asked me "You are going Malad Right?" I was shocked and amazed how the hell she knew it. Even before I could reply she said "Even I am going Malad, I see you everyday at Malad station."  Don't be shocked. This is very common thing for daily train commuters. Mumbaikars have one additional type of friend "Train wale friend". People who travel in same train daily tend to know each other's faces and becomes friend eventually, sometime we don't even know each other's name but we are "Train friends" So coming back to my story, we both decided to jump off the train. Yes! jump off because train was not on platform. Already water was  logged on entire tracks. In fact it was impossible to guess where exactly the tracks were. It was fully covered with water. When I jumped from train I realized that water level was till my hip. My new train friend "Mini" and me crossed railway tracks and decided to go by road. We started walking on road....no!!! actually you can say we were swimming. One can't walk when water level is above your stomach.

6:00 PM: We both were very positive about getting some type of transportation. We would ask each auto driver to drop us till Malad. If they would say No, we would plead them to drop us atleast till Andheri Station. No one agreed. Finally one Autowala agreed for Andheri station. Happily we sat in there, little did we knew happiness was momentary. We must have reached hardly half a kilometer, when another autowala coming from opposite direction said "Arre Marna hai kya udar ja rahe ho, sab jagah paani bhara hai ....Mat jao wahan" Our Autowala looked at us and said "Sorry Madam aage nahi ja sakte" Mini said "acha, jahan se aaye hai wahin chodo hame yeh jagah pata nahi hai" He said "Ok madam" he dropped us at same spot from where we took the auto and charged us 20 bucks. Can you imagine??

Again we started swimming and managed to reach Irla in Vileparle. At Irla we saw one BEST bus, I asked conductor "where is it going?" He said "Andheri station" Mini and me immediately got in.

7:00 PM : We were sitting in that bus and bus didn't move even half meter.

8:00 PM : We were still sitting in that bus and bus didn't move even half meter.

9:00 PM : We were still sitting in that bus and bus didn't move even half meter. By now we both were shivering and feeling hungry. None of the shop was open. Even street light was not on. It was totally dark outside because electricity was not there at all in entire city which is very rare thing in Mumbai.

09:30 PM : God sent a Angel for our rescue. Few college boys who were also sitting in bus with us managed to get few packets of biscuits and chocolates. They were so kind that they distributed it to everyone in the bus. When it comes to crisis like this we get to see the spirit of mumbaikars. They always come forward and help you in situation like this.

10:00 PM : We were still sitting in that bus and bus didn't move even half meter. We lost our patience and decided to get off the bus and started swimming again. It was dark outside and still raining. But road was not empty. It was crowded. I looked as if some kind of rally was going on. Everyone was walking through the water, it didn't seem as if flood had stuck our city. As it is said nothing can stop Mumbai. I witnessed it that day. Buses were not moving, trains stopped, cars, autos bikes everything stopped but not mumbaikars. We kept moving. On the way we met so many kind aunties, they would tell us, "beta hamare sath sath me chalo, dhyaan rakho apna" at few places people were standing holding their hands in circle just to indicate that there is open Man hole.

12:00 AM: Finally we reached Jogeshwari station. Yes we walked down from Irla till Jogeshwari. It was midnight and we were dead tired to walk ahead.


.................................To be continued

Friday, June 13, 2014

Rants of a single girl!!!!

Are you smart, beautiful and  single in your 20s? If yes, you should read this post. If No, still you can read just for fun.

As a child, we are always told to get good grades in school, once we achieve that, we start slogging for graduation, once that is done too, we started striving hard to earn money. In the mean time we realize that we are growing older. What next now??? Marriage???

Marriage is a big thing in Indian society, sometimes I feel most of them do above given stuff in life just for getting married. Few days back I was talking to one of my friend about his views on marriage and I was shocked when he said "Mein toh shaadi karne k liye kamata hun" (I earn to get married). I mean, is it the only purpose of our life? Come on get some life dude.

If you have completed your graduation, working in some multinational company, drawing handsome package and not dating anyone then definitely your parents must be bugging you to get married.  According to my parents, its high time that I should choose a life partner and get married. More than parents its neighbours, relatives and family friends who are more concerned about my marriage. They keep asking constantly "so when are you planning to get married?". Height is when your own friends call up and say "Hey I am getting really bored, want to attend some big fat Indian wedding, so get married sandy" or "hey  I have never attended any north Indian wedding, so get married sandy". I am like "Excuse me, you want  me to get married for sake of your entertainment or just because you will get an opportunity to dress up and show off your beauty?". Spare me please.......

Just Imagine, how beautiful my life is right now. I can sleep like a log during day, stay up late in night watch football matches, no worries of cooking and cleaning. No need to call up or answer someone 10 times a day. Getting married means sacrificing all these wonderful things of your life, that too for whom, a stranger?(in case of arranged marriage). That's why I always say "Shaadi toh barbaadi hai, kho jaati azaadi hai".

In western culture there is only one kind of marriage. But in India we have 2 types viz. "Love marriage" and "Arranged marriage". Love marriage is simple, two people fall in love and get married. But Arranged marriage is a complex concept. In Arranged Marriage, your parents chose the partner first and then you HAVE to fall in love with him/her.



Typically it goes like this. Parents start shortlisting bio-data, create profile on matrimonial sites, start calling/receiving calls, spread the news that there is new bakra in matrimonial market. After lot of searching and researching, they fix "Arranged Marriage Date"  with shortlisted guy (I came across this term in some article and felt its very apt for such meeting.). Frankly speaking, I hate such kind of meetings. I would love to attend 100s of office meetings but meeting a stranger,talking to him, judging him and then deciding if he is suitable match for you or not. Horrible!!!!.

Usually going on "Date" is a cool thing but going on "Arranged Marriage Date" is a punishment kind of thing. You have to behave like grown up, give fake smiles, talk elegantly, eat with manners and worst of all prepare for interview session. Thousands of questions will be bombarded on you. You have to defend as well as attack the opposition with questions. Phew!!!

My idea of marriage is bit different. Two people who really know each other well and have guts and willingness to spend their life together only deserve to get married to each other. As I always say "It is better to live with a known devil than an unknown devil". Nevertheless, whatever I feel about this "Arranged Marriage Date" concept I will be forced to go on those "Dates". Fault is purely mine because I am lazy enough to go and search for a suitable guy for me.

I have so many examples of arranged marriage and I ask almost all of them that how they came to conclusion that this is the person with whom they would like to spend their rest of life? I always get replies like "Woh pata chal jata hai re" some have even said that "Dimag me ghanti bajti hai" I mean wtf "Ghanti bajti hai??" Lol , ROFL.

Whatever it is, I just feel that everyone deserves the best.  Happy marriage should be the end result be it  love marriage or arranged.




Image courtesy : Google

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Only Memories!!

"Some people come into our lives and leaves footprints in our hearts." Sad part is we realize it only when they have left forever. One such person who came into my life and left footprints in my heart forever is "Apurv Ajmera".

When I think of him, I remember him as a very fun loving person, pulling everyone's leg and cracking joke on every other thing. I met him for the first time in my previous organisation at one of  my friend's farewell party. Obviously I had heard a lot about him before that. We talked for the first time that day, he was very surprised to know that I am also a "Manchester United football club" fan (girls usually don't watch it). We became good friends instantly thanks to MUFC thing. I remember how we use to discuss every match fact on office communicator or sometimes late at night via smses. I really miss those MUFC discussion with him. :(

He would call me "Sundyyyy" in his typical accent. Once I told him Appu its not "Sundyy" but "Sandy", he smiled and said "haan haan wahi toh keh raha hun", "Sundyyyyy" and we both burst into laughter. Those laughter and smiles, now just leaves behind tears in my eyes. Before moving to Pune from Mumbai, he invited us for lunch at his place. I remember, entire afternoon he went on and on about his favorite manager (one who should not be named). That was the last time I saw him. I have not known him for a very long time but his personality was such that I felt as if I have known him for my entire life. He was one such person who would mingle easily with everyone.

When it came to work, he was very passionate. He would give his 100% into all of his projects. More often than not, he would end up having fight with test lead over defects, quality or deadline. His fight with testers was very famous and common thing. But somehow, we had good understanding between us and always kept our personal and professional relationship separate. Some people say it was his dedication towards work that took him away from us.

I still remember that unfortunate morning. It was around 05.00 am when my phone rang. I answered the call with my eyes still closed. It was from a colleague. She asked me "Sandhya tumhare pass Apurv ki wife ka number hai kya?" I replied lazily " No, but why do you need it at this time"(I thought he must have kept his phone off purposely so that office people don't disturb him early morning). She said "Apurv had an accident while going office and police is not ready to disclose anything, Police wants to contact his family member only" hearing this my eyes opened wide along with mouth. I asked her again "What are you saying?  Is he ok?" She said "I don't know" and disconnected the call. After sometime she called me back and confirmed about his death.  I froze, my mind stopped working. I had no idea what to do. I closed my eyes and slide show of his memories begun in my mind. I lost one of my dear friend that day.



He has left us forever but not without lighting our lives with his fond memories. I am not writing this in grief that he is no more but in thankfulness that I have known him(doesn't matter for short period of time). He will always be missed by his family and friends like me.

Remembering him on his birthday ie 12th May.

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Ek choti si love story--Part 2

Contd from....Ek choti si love story--Part 1

Obviously now I wanted to know whether he was single or committed? I went ahead and checked  his entire profile, all his status updates and all his pictures. Everything looked good, no sign of commitment. Sigh of relief it was for me. "Yo Sandy, go ahead and get him" I said to myself. While checking his profile I figured out that he was also football fan. My happiness knew no boundaries. I desperately want my partner to be a football fan. Only sad part was that he was supporting my rival team. I ignored that too. (Love is really blind)

To be very frank, I can blabber something or other entire day but when it comes to situation like these, my brain stops working I just can't think what to say. Exactly same thing would happen whenever he would be around. Coincidentally, couple of times we shared same lift, many times lunch table but I never had the guts to go and simply say hello to him or just smile at him.

With each passing day I was falling more and more for him. I remember it was Sunday night and I was not sleeping but thinking about him. I said to myself " Its almost 15 days now, Its high time that now I should go and talk to him." I decided that I will go and praise his game. I even decided the words to be used, If he wins the game I'll say "Wow you just smashed the opponents" in case if he loses "Well played, better luck next time."

I went office and rehearsed my lines many times in washroom. I was eagerly waiting to see him around. Finally I saw him near lift, he was wearing white tee shirt with our company's name and logo on left side and jeans. I was surprised to see him in casuals on Monday. "Why is he leaving so early today?" I said to myself. While I was just wondering about all the possibilities, lift arrived, he entered the lift and disappeared.

I came back to my desk, immediately typed his name on office communicator. He was offline. My heart sank. I thought, he must not be feeling well may be that's why he left early. Next day, as soon as I logged in my machine, I again checked his status it was still offline. I was worried what happened, why was he not in office?

After two days, when I typed his name again to check his status, "No results found" message displayed. I thought I might have misspelled his name. I typed his name again, same message appeared. I immediately opened our corporate directory and checked over there. His name was missing from corporate directory too. It was very clear by now that he had left our organisation. Tears fell out of my eyes. I thought why this happened to me, first time ever I felt so strongly about someone and before I could do something, he was taken away from me.

My situation was exactly like that song "Dil Jude bina hi tut gaye...hath mile bina hi chut gaye....ki lekhe ne lekh kismat ne..."

After few days, I got a ping from Mr.stranger:
Mr.Stranger: Hi
Me: Hi
Mr.Stranger: I think you are new here.
Me: Yes I am.
Mr.Stranger: I think you like table tennis. At least you watch it with great interest.
I was like huh, who was watching table tennis?? I was busy with something else only.
Me: Umm, Yeah I like watching it. But how you know my name?
Mr.Stranger: I read it on your I-card.
I was like OMG, While I was busy drooling on him, someone else was drooling on me too. I smiled and closed the chat and never bothered to find who that stranger was?

Lessons learnt from entire scene:
1)Don't assume that you have all the time in the world to get your love. As soon as you like someone go and say it.
2)When one door closes another door opens for sure. Its up to to you whether you want to walk through that door or not.


P.S: All characters appearing in this work is purely fictitious, any resemblance to real person living or dead is purely coincidental.  

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Ek choti si love story!!

“Arey Mera Fried Rice kal dega kya” someone shouted standing next to me near lunch counter in cafeteria of my office.  I turned my head to see who this “Angry Man” was?? He must have been of same age as mine. His height was average. Fair complexion with neatly combed hair, big black eyes, He was wearing grey tee shirt and jeans. He was looking bit angry on café boy.
“Sir bas 5 min aur lagega” said the café boy, “Mai idar hi baitha hun, awaz dena” he said and left the counter. I took my plate and spoon and went back to my table to have lunch with my colleagues.  It was 14th feb so most of them in café were in red attire. Most of them were discussing about leaving early to spend evening with their partners. I silently continued to have my lunch thinking this year again I am single on Valentine’s Day. “Such a waste I am, I have wasted 25 vdays” I said to myself. 

After having lunch, I usually go for walk with my friends without fail. Actually no! we don't go for walk but for talk. We just take one round of the garden and go and sit somewhere and talk and talk. But that day due to some reason both my girls were busy so I didn't go for walk. I was already feeling a bit low, you know it's really  a torture to be single on valentine's day. Heart shaped balloons, chocolates and gifts....oh every girl wants that, admit it, even I wanted it. I said to myself  "so what I am single? I love myself and I will get chocolate for myself." I got up from my desk and moved towards Phase 1 cafeteria  to buy myself chocolates.

Near Phase 1 cafe, our office guys have placed TT table which is always occupied. I rarely see it empty, I wonder people come to office for working or playing TT. I bought myself a big Dairy Milk, happily I took the first bite standing near TT table. When I saw around TT table, it was the same "angry man" from phase 3 cafe waiting for his turn to play TT. That very moment cupid's arrow hit my heart very hard. He turned to me and our eyes met. He smiled at me, I smiled at him back. My heart started racing, my palm was sweating. I felt as if everything around me has disappeared, only one left around me is him. I tried to take off my eyes from him, oh ghosh, my eyes were not ready to listen to my command. Thankfully I came back to my senses and said to myself  "Sandy move your ass from here or else you'll mess up everything" and I came back to my desk.

I was sitting on my desk physically but mentally I was still near TT table. I felt as if I lost something over there, what was it? my peace of mind, my sleep or my heart?  I felt as if a background music is going on in my mind "Tujhe dekha toh yeh jaana sanam...pyaar hota hai deewana sanam". Hey hold on, who was he, I didn't even knew what his name was? How could I fall for someone at first sight. Frankly speaking I never believed in love at first sight till that day. I always felt it is very important to know a person very well or may be only after spending sometime with the person one can fall in love. But I proved myself wrong.



That night I couldn't sleep properly I kept thinking about him.  My condition was exactly like that song by A.R.Rehman "Kehna hi kya yeh nain ek anjaan se jo mile, woh hamse hamse unse kabhi na mile kaise mile dil na jaane"

I immediately texted my bestie about my new crush. She replied "Hahaha...One more crush...but Yadav hai kya woh?". I don't know why but my bestie doesn't approve my crushes if they are not Yadav. I replied her "I don't even know what his name is....tu surname pe pahuch gayi..and I don't care woh Yadav hai ya nahi." Now, My next target was to find out his name? But How? I was new to this place I didn't knew anyone, who would help me out here. I was clueless. Next day when I met my girls at post lunch walk, I told them about the entire scene. They suggested me few tips and tricks to find information about him. Like every evening my girls and guy (only guy left in our group) went down to have some tea. While returning, I saw him at one of tapris, I immediately signaled my girls and guy that its him. I must say my girls are very notorious. They told me, "Hey sandy lets hide behind that bus and see what he is doing." We did the same, as soon as he started moving towards our office building we pretended as if we were also going in the same direction. Basically we were stalking him.

The more I would see him in cafeteria or in office premises more I would fall for him. I was desperate to know his name. By Now, I had managed to figure out his typical time when he preferred playing TT. I would reach to see him play. I would pretend as if I am texting someone and from the corner of my eyes would check him out. One fine day while doing same, I heard someone calling "D**, throw ball here". I looked up and saw he was standing with one more guy. I got confused whether he is d** or person standing near him.
That was enough for me to find his information from facebook. I went home and searched with name "D** and my company's name" from thousands of search results, I saw one profile having his profile picture. When I opened his profile, I was surprised to see his full name "D**** Yadav" I was like woah....I found him.


                                                                                                                .................to be continued



P.S:All characters appearing in this work is purely fictitious, any resemblance to real person living or dead is purely coincidental.  

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Life of Panchali!!

Every Indian would agree that one of the greatest epic of all time is "Mahabharat" by Vedvyas. I don't know whether it is mythology? Or it is fact?Or our history? Or it is just a fiction story? but whatever it is, It is simply brilliant. The great author and sage Vyas has placed  every event in Mahabharat so beautifully and strategically that it leaves pervasive influence on us.

Everyone who knows the story of Mahabharat would not stop praising the Pandavas for their victory in the legendary war and their dedication to protect "dharma". Apart from them one would also praise Lord Shri Krishna, the mastermind, the support system of Pandavas, without whom winning this war would have been just a dream for Pandavas.

But I want to write about someone else over here. No one but common wife of Pandavas "Draupadi".After learning the entire episode of "Mahabharat" I was very impressed by the strong personality of "Draupadi".
   
Draupadi was daughter of Drupad, king of "Panchal". She was also known as "Panchali"(Princess of Panchal). She was not an ordinary female. Just like her, her birth story is also not ordinary. Her father had an old rivalry with Dronacharya (Teacher of Pandavas). Drupad performed rigourous yagna to have a son who could fight with Dronacharya and take his revenge. As a result of this yagna, he was blessed with twin children. Extra ordinary thing here is both children emerged from fire(I am still wondering how can this happen). First emerged a male child who was named "Dhristadhyumna" and second one was "Draupadi". Another thing to be noted here is she wasn't born from a mother's womb but from fire that's why she was also called "Yagnaseni". It is said that she was very beautiful. We get to know about her beauty at different stages of this great epic where different people gets attracted to her at different stage of her life. She wasn't just beautiful but very strong minded person also, she was known for speaking out her mind in the world of men(Incident where she questions everyone in the court when she was dragged with her hair to courtroom). 

I guess Draupadi is the only female in our mythology who was married to five husbands. Polygamy is very common in our mythology but this must be only example of polyandry. It is said that in her earlier life Lord Shiva was pleased by her devotion and gave her a boon. She asked Lord Shiva to give her husband who is symbol of dharma, who is very powerful like Hanuman, who is greatest archer of all time, who is very handsome, who is very intelligent. Lord shiva said that it's impossible to have all these qualities in one man hence she would have five husbands.

One would say that wife of such mighty husbands would have led a happy and safe life. But that was not so. She was treated like an object from the day she got married. Arjun, who won the archer's contest held at Panchal was supposed to be her husband but Pandava's mother Kunti ordered her sons to divide whatever they have got home among themselves without even looking at her. Was Draupadi an object to be divided amongst brothers? That was not enough, her husband Yudhishtir lost everything including his brothers and wife Draupadi in a game of gambling at Hastinapur. I ask again was Draupadi an object to be bet in a game. I think even in Kaliyug no gambler must be betting his wife in game, how Yudhistir gambled his wife in that era of "Dharma". What happened with Draupadi after that in that courtroom does not need a mention. It was for Lord Krishna that Draupadi was saved in that royal courtroom which consisted of King Dhritrashtra, Bheesma pitama, Drona, Kripacharya and Vidur. 



As I have mentioned Krishna already, Lets look at the relationship of Krishna and Draupadi. They were Sakhi-Sakha (Friends). I admire Krishna as perfect package, who knows how to love, how to be a true friend, how to be a brother, how to be ideal son, the perfect strategist. Draupadi's life was full of hardships in-spite of being queen of Indraprasth and wife of five mighty husbands. In her hardships of life Krishna played the role of true friend and rescued her time to time.There goes an incident where Durvasa Rishi was about to visit Draupadi's cottage for lunch while they were in exile for 12 years. When Draupadi came to know about his visit with 7 other rishis, she got tensed because she was left with only one grain of rice. Krishna reached Pandavas cottage at correct time and asked Draupadi to feed him that one grain of rice. As soon as Krishna eats that grain of rice, automatically Durvasa Rishi and his fellow rishis suddenly felt that their hunger has disappeared. Not only that, they felt as if they have just finished a heavy lunch and can't eat even a grain. Thus they cancel their plan of having lunch. This shows us what actually a bond of true friendship is all about, how to keep the promise of being there for your friend when needed. Krishna stood by Draupadi as a true friend in all her hard times.

I mentioned that Draupadi was a very strong minded person, I said so because I was fascinated by the fact that she didn't tie her long beautiful hair after she was dragged with hair by Dushasan till  she washed her hair with his blood. She made it a point that her husbands take revenge of her insults (Draupadi Vastraharan, Jayadrath scene and Keechak scene). She was full of kindness and affection too. In-spite of fact that when Dushasan pulled off her saree, both Dhritrashtra and Gandhari didn't say a word. But still after the war she took care of Gandhari with all respect like she did for Kunti. 

Overall I would say a lady who was princess of Panchal, daughter of King Drupad, wife of five extra ordinary husbands, Queen of Indraprasth and friend of Lord Krishna himself had to face all sort of problems. Right from humiliation in courtroom, hardships of living in jungle for 12 years, living as a slave of a queen for one year and at the end losing all five sons. Who would say a lady with such high status and connections will have to go through all these things. She was feminine, generous  to the right ones while she would create havoc on the wrong ones. Definitely she is most interesting and complicated character of all in the greatest epic Mahabharat.

Monday, March 10, 2014

On Krishna's Chariot stands Shikhandi!!

 This is not my post. It was published in Midday, Mumbai, 12 July 2009, written by Devdutt Pattanaik. I loved this article so much that posted it here.

It was the ninth night of the war at Kurukshetra. The exact midpoint of the legendary 18-day bloodbath. Not the start, not the end, but the middle. The war had been inconclusive. Sometimes the Kauravas led by the old sire Bhisma had the upper hand; sometimes the Pandavas led by the young warlord, Dhristadhyumna, Draupadi’s twin brother, had the upper hand. A see-saw that was going nowhere.
“Bhisma loves us too much to defeat us,” said the Pandavas.
“Yet not enough to let us win,” reminded Krishna. “He must die, if dharma has to be established.” But Bhisma had been given a boon by his father that he could choose the time of his death. No one could therefore kill him. “If we cannot kill him, we must at least immobilize him.”
“But no one can defeat him,” said the Pandavas. “Even the great Parashurama could not overpower him in a duel. So long as he holds a weapon in his hand he is invincible.”
“Then we must make him lower his bow,” said Krishna.
“He will never lower his bow before any armed man.”
“What about an armed woman?”
“A woman? On the battlefield?” sneered the Pandavas, forgetting they themselves worshipped Durga, the goddess of war and victory. “But it is against dharma to let women hold weapons and step on the battlefield.”
“Who said so?” asked Krishna.
“Bhisma says so. Dharma says so.”
“Dharma also says that old men should retire and make way for the next generation so that the earth’s resources are not exploited by too many generations. But Bhisma did the very opposite. He renounced his right to marry, so that his old father could resume the householder’s life,” argued Krishna.
“He was being an obedient son.”
“He was indulging his old father at the cost of the earth. That vow spiraled events that has led to this war. It is time to be rid of him, by force or cunning, if necessary. We must find someone before whom the old patriarch will lower his bow. If not a woman, then someone who is not quite a man.”
“What about Shikhandi!” said Dhristadhyumna. “He is my elder brother. He was born a woman. But my father, Draupada, was told by the Rishis that he would one day become a man. Though born with female genital organs, Shikhandi was raised a son, taught warfare and statecraft. He was even given a wife. On his wedding night, the wife, daughter of king Hiranyavarna of Dasharna, was horrified to discover that her husband was actually a woman. My father tried to explain that actually Shikhandi was a man with a female body and that Rishis had told him he would someday acquire a male body. The woman refused to listen. She screamed and ran to her father and her father raised an army and threatened to destroy our city. A distraught Shikhandi went to the forest, holding himself responsible for the crisis, intent on killing himself. There he met a Yaksha called Sthunakarna who took pity on him and gave him his manhood for one night. With the Yaksha’s manhood, Shikhandi made love to a concubine sent by his father-in-law and proved he was no woman. The wife was therefore forced to return. Now, it so happened, that Kubera, king of the Yakshas, was furious with what Sthunakarna had done and so cursed Sthunakarna that he would not get his manhood back so long as Shikhandi was alive. As a result what was supposed to be with him for one night has remained with him till this moment. My elder brother, Shikhandi, born with a female body, has a Yaksha’s manhood right now. What is he, Krishna? Man or woman?”
Krishna knew things were more complex. Shikhandi, may have been raised as a man and may have acquired a manhood later in life, but in his previous life, he was a woman called Amba, whose life Bhisma had ruined. Bhisma had abducted her along with her sisters and forced them to marry, not him, but his weakling of a brother, Vichitravirya (a name that means ‘queer masculinity’ or ‘odd manliness’). When she begged Bhisma to let her marry the man she loved, he let her go. But the lover refused to marry Amba, now soiled by contact with another man (Bhisma). Distraught she returned, only to have Vichitravirya turn her away, and Bhisma shrugging helplessly. “When you have taken the vow of never being with a woman, what gave you the right to abduct me,” she yelled. Bhisma ignored her. Amba begged Parashurama, the great warrior, to kill Bhisma but he failed. Exasperated, irritated, she prayed to Shiva. “Make me the cause of his death,” she begged. Shiva blessed her – it would be so, but only in her next life. Amba immediately leapt into a pyre eager to accelerate the process.
“I think, Shikhandi should ride into the battlefield on my chariot. Let Arjuna stand behind him,” said Krishna. The tenth day dawned. The chariot rolled out. Behind Krishna stood the strange creature, neither man nor woman, or perhaps both, or neither, and behind him, Arjuna.
“You bring a woman into this battlefield, before me,” roared Bhisma seeing Shikhandi. “This is adharma. I refuse to fight.”
Krishna retorted in his calm melodious voice, “You see her as a woman because she was born with a female body. You see her as a woman because in her heart she is Amba. But I see her as a man because that is how her father raised her. I see her as a man because she has a Yaksha’s manhood with which he has consummated his marriage. Whose point of view is right, Bhisma?”
“Mine,” said Bhisma.
“You are always right, are you not, Bhisma? When you allowed your old father to remarry, when you abducted brides for your weak brother, when you clung to future generation after future generation like a leech, trying to set things right. There is always a logic you find to justify your point of view.  So now, Shikhandi is a woman – an unworthy opponent. That’s your view, not Shikhandi’s view. He wishes to fight you.”
“I will not fight this woman,” so saying Bhisma lowered his bow without even looking towards Shikhandi.
“Shoot him now, Shikhandi. Shoot him, now, Arjuna,” said Krishna, “Shoot hundreds of arrows so that they puncture every inch of this old man’s flesh. Pin him to the ground, immobilize him so that he can no longer immobilize the war.”
“But he is like a father to me,” argued Arjuna.
“This war is not about fathers or sons. This is not even about men or women, Arjuna. This is about dharma. And dharma is about empathy. Empathy is about inclusion. Even now, he excludes Shikhandi’s feelings – all he cares about is his version of the law. Shoot him now. Rid the world of this old school of thought so that a new world can be reconstructed.”
And so Arjuna released a volley of arrows. Hundreds of arrows punctured every limb of Bhisma’s body, his hands, his legs, his trunk, his thighs, till the grandsire fell like a giant Banyan tree in the middle of a forest. It is said that the earth would not accept him for he had lived too long – over four generations instead of just two. It is said the sky would not accept him because he had not fathered children and repaid his debt to ancestors. So he remained suspended mid-air by Arjuna’s arrows.

With the fall of Bhisma, the war moved in favor of the Pandavas. Nine days later, the Kauravas were defeated and dharma had been established.
Without doubt, Shikhandi changed the course of the war and played a pivotal role in the establishing of dharma. He was without doubt a key tool for Krishna. A cynic would say, Shikhandi was used by Krishna. A devotee will argue, Krishna made even Shikhandi useful. But his story is almost always overlooked in retellings of the great epic Mahabharata, or retold rather hurriedly, avoiding the details. Authors have gone so far as to conveniently call the Sthunakarna episode a later interpolation, hence of no consequence.
Shikhandi embodies all queer people – from gays to lesbians to Hijras to transgendered people to hermaphrodites to bisexuals. Like their stories, his story remains invisible. But the great author, Vyasa, located this story between the ninth night and the tenth day, right in the middle of the war, between the start and the finish. This was surely not accidental. It was a strategic pointer to things that belong neither here nor there. This is how the ancients gave voice to the non-heterosexual discourse.
Shikhandi embarrases us today. Sthunakarna who willingly gave up his manhood frightens us today. But neither Shikhandi nor Shthunkarna embarrassed or frightened Krishna or Vyas. Both included Shikhandi in the great narrative. But modern writers have chosen to exclude him. That is the story of homosexuals in human society. Homosexuals have always existed in God’s world but more often than not manmade society has chosen to ignore, suppress, ridicule, label them aberrants, diseased, to be swept under carpets and gagged by laws such as 377. They have been equated with rapists and molesters, simply because they can only love differently.
Indian society, however, has been a bit different from most others. Like all cultures, Indian culture for sure paid more importance to the dominant heterosexual discourse. But unlike most cultures, Indian culture did not condemn or invalidate the minority non-heterosexual discourse altogether. Hence the tale of Shikhandi, placed so strategically. Hence the tale of Bhangashvana, retold by none other than Bhisma to the Pandavas, after the war before he chose to die.
I am fortunate enough to say that my family, both maternal and paternal always clarified the questions we asked of them. As a child,  I asked my parents as to why Shikhandi was described as both man and woman. They answered explaining the detailed story, including the Yaksha part. They taught me to consider these examples of people not as men or women, but just as humans, who feel, who live just as we do.

I am just making an effort to help people understand that Krishna, who created us all, is a loving god and does not differentiate between us on basis of whom we choose to love.